The last night you spent with me, you left in tears. Trying to make things better, I made things worse and frightened you. Yes, I liked to holds hands... perhaps too much.
But walking with you, arms wrapped around you, seeing you every day with love and desire in my eyes, I expressed it without reservation. I still see you when I close my eyes, still smell you when I concentrate, even though I know you're long gone and never going to realize what I'd dreamed. I know you didn't share them.
Karma may have had its way with me, knowing how I more than likely - nay, undoubtedly - closed off someone else from my heart, someone who also could have been the realization of my dreams years ago. I was sorry when that happened and I hid my heart away until you opened it up again.
I'm not always what I dreamed for myself, what I wanted to be. I don't think anyone ever is, except those rare lucky few. But thanks to the experience of being with you, even for such a short time, I know I'm moving again... towards that goal.
And if our paths cross some time in the future, and I have the life you saw me leading, and you're happy in your life, I would like for us to be able to sit, share a drink, and smile... just as I wrote you what seems like so long ago.
(So it's a bit sappy. I'm a romantic. You don't like it, don't read it.)
TTFN--
3 comments:
lovely. very real, Clint. if it was me, I just wouldn't be that kind to sit and smile. i wish, but uh.. :P
I learned a lot and I don't regret anything I did. :) Happy experiences are the ones that matter.
Just a note from a girl. If this is the kind of man you are never change. If the one you write about can not realize what a gem you are then there are others who are looking for someone just like you. (me included) She will one day look back and realize how good she had it that someone loved her for who she was and loved everthing about her. I hope you don't close yourself off and allow the one who will be your everything to find you.
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